高效能人士的7个习惯

7 habits of highly effective people--By Lydia He (Yuting)

开启自己的大门Open the door on your own谁也无法说服他人改变。我们每个 人都守着一扇只能从内开启的改变 之门，不论动之以情或说之以理， 我们都不能替别人开门。--美国作家佛格森（Marilyn Ferguson)

习惯 Habits习惯是知识，技巧，意愿三者的混合体A habit is the interaction of knowledge, skill and desire.知识指点我们“做什么”及“为何做”Knowledge is the what to do and why to do技巧则是“如何做”Skill is the how to do意愿表示我们有付诸行动的愿望.Desire is the motivation, the want to do培养一种习惯，以上三个要素缺一不可！We have to have all three above to make sth a habit!

7种习惯关系图The 7 habits paradigm

三个不同的期间The Maturity Continuum • 依赖期：围绕“你”这个观念，你照顾我，你为我的成败得失负责； 事情若有差错，我便怪罪于你。－－靠别人来完成自己的愿望。Dependence: Paradigm of you, you take care of me; you come through for me; you did not come through, I blame you for the results.—Depend on others to achieve wishes.• 独立期：着眼于“我”的观念，－我可以自立，我为自己负责， 我可 以自由选择。－－自己打天下。Independence: Paradigm of I , I can do it, I am responsible, I am self-reliant, I can choose.--Fight for yourself on your own.• 互赖期：从“我们”的观念出发，我们可以自主，合作，统合综效， 共创伟大前程。－－群策群力以达成功。Interdependence is the paradigm of we, we can do it, we can cooperate, we can combine our talents and abilities and create something greater together.—Achieve success by group efforts.

习惯一：积极主动Habit 1: Be Proactive

Our basic nature is to act, and not to be acted upon. As well as enabling us to choose our response to particular circumstances, this empowers us to create circumstances.

习惯一 积极主动Habit 1: Be Proactive•外界的评价并不能完全代表全部真实的你，人有选择的自 由External opinions can not stand for yourself completely, we have freedom to choose1）自我意识－通过自己的努力去控制自己的行为Self-awareness-Control our responses through our own efforts.2）想象力－超出现实之外Imagination-the ability to create our in our minds beyond our present reality.3）良知－明辨善恶是非Conscience-a deep inner awareness of right and wrong.4）独立意志－不受外界影响，自行其是Independent will-the ability to act based on our self-awareness, free of all other influences

习惯一 积极主动Habit 1: Be Proactive•积极主动的人有责任感，不把自己的行为归咎于环境或者他 人.Highly proactive people recognize their responsibility. They do not blame circumstance, conditions, or other people.•积极主动的人不凭借对外界环境的感觉来行事Highly proactive people do not affected by their physical environment.•积极主动的人根据自身的原则或价值观做有意识的选择Highly proactive people’s behavior is a product of their own conscious, based on values.

习惯一 积极主动Habit 1: Be Proactive消极被动的人，心情好坏建立在他人的行为上，他人 不完善的人格成为了控制他们的利器。Reactive people build their emotional lives around the behavior of others, empowering the weakness of other people to control them.积极主动的人并非对外界的刺激无动于衷，他们仍然有所回 应，但如何回应完全掌握在他们自己手中。Proactive people are still influenced by external stimuli, but their response is a value-based choice.“除非你同意，否则任何人都不能伤害你”“ No one can hurt you without your consent”

习惯一积极主动

Habit 1: Be Proactive

习惯一积极主动

Habit 1: Be Proactive

1)采取主动

Take the Initiative

Taking initiative does not mean being pushy, obnoxious, or aggressive. It does mean recognizing our responsibility to make things happen.

－－遇到难题时请先尝试自己想办法。Try to think of the solution first when facing problems.

习惯一积极主动

Habit 1: Be Proactive

2)化消极为积极

Act instead of be acted upon

积极思考,积极行动

Think positively, act proactively

承认现实,肯定人有权选择对现实环境作出积极回应

Facing the reality, and we have the power to choose a positive response tothose circumstances and projections.

习惯一积极主动

Habit 1: Be Proactive

3)不要说“我办不到”We can’t? Can’t we?

消极被动Reactive

我已无能为力

There is nothing I can do

我就是这样一个人

That’s just the way I am

他使我怒不可竭

He makes me so mad

他们不会接受的

They won’t allow that

我被迫………

I have to ……

我不能………

I can’t……..积极主动Proactive试试看有没有其他可能性Let’s look at our alternatives我可以选择不同的作风I can choose a different approach我可以控制自己的情绪I control my own feelings我可以想出有效的表达方式I can create an effective presentation我能选择恰当的回应I will choose an appropriate response我选择I choose我情愿I prefer我打算I will

习惯一积极主动

Habit 1: Be Proactive

4) 行动胜过“感觉”

Just Do It

习惯一积极主动

Habit 1: Be Proactive

5)着重个人可以控制并发挥影响力的范围Focus your efforts in the controllable scope of influence

主动积极的焦点

Proactive Focus被动消极的焦点Negative Focus

影响范围

Scope of influence影响范围Scope of influence

习惯一积极主动

Habit 1: Be Proactive

6) 别让问题制服了你

Do not empower problems to let you down

可直接控制的问题-改变习惯

Direct Control Problems-Solved by working on our habits.可间接控制的问题-改进发挥影响力的方法Indirect Control Problems-Solved by changing our methods ofInfluence.

无能为力的问题-改变嘴角的线条,真诚平和的态度接纳问题.

No Control Problems-Taking the responsibility to change the line on

the bottom on our face-smile

习惯一积极主动

Habit 1: Be Proactive

7)用心扩大影响圈

Expanding the circle of influence

积极主动并非富有侵略性，强出头.

Proactive should not be interpreted as pushy, aggressive or insensitive.积极主动的人反应更为敏锐，更为理智能够切核实际，并掌握问题的症结所在.

Proactive people are smart, value driven. They read the reality, and they knowwhat’s needed.

“我可以更有耐心，更明智，更体贴…”

“I can more diligent, more patient, and more thoughtful”

习惯一积极主动

Habit 1: Be Proactive

8）先从自己做起

Do it from yourself.

外在环境是造成问题的症结所在？！

The problem is out there?!

改变个人行为，做个更充实，更勤奋，更具创意，更能合作的人。

Change from inside out, “I can be more resourceful, I can be more diligent, I can be more creative, I can be more cooperative.

”

习惯一积极主动

Habit 1: Be Proactive

9）不怕犯错，只怕不改过

Acknowledge mistakes instantly, correct and learn from them.准备接受自由选择后可能导致的后果与错误

Be ready for consequences and mistakes brought by free choice of actions.对于已难挽回的错误，积极主动的做法不是悔恨不已，而是承认，改正，从中吸取经验教训。

The proactive approach to mistakes, is not to be filled with regrets, but is toacknowledge mistakes instantly, correct and learn from them.

习惯一 积极主动Habit 1: Be Proactive10）做出承诺，信守诺言Making and Keeping Commitment积极主动的最崇高表现：Essence and manifestation of pro-activity. 对自己，对别人有所承诺，并且从不食言。Commit to ourselves and others, and keep our commitments and promises.

习惯一 积极主动Habit 1: Be Proactive 从工作或日常生活中，找出一个令你倍感挫折的问题判断它属于直接，间接或无法控制的问题。然后在影响圈 选择解决的第一步骤，并付诸行动。Select problem from your work or personal life that is frustrating to you. Determine whether it is a direct, indirect, or no control problem. Identify the First step you can take in your circle of influence to solve it and then take that step.

习惯二：以终为始Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind

习惯二：以终为始Begin with the end in mind 终：人生的最终期许。The end: Image, picture, or paradigm of the end of your life. 发掘自身最根深蒂固的价值观。Explore your deep, fundamental values. 从此时此刻起，一举一动，一切标准，都由你最重视的价值来决定！From this moment, all your actions, standards will be determined by your fundamental values. 确认使命，认清方向，勇往直前。Confirm destinations, clear directions, march ahead without hesitations.

习惯二: 以终为始Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind1 事物的两次创造。All things are created twice.1）心智创造 Mental Creation. 2) 实际创造 Physical Creation.

习惯二: 以终为始Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind2) 自我领导(思想)=>自我管理(行为) 。Personal leadership (Mind)=>Personal Management. (Behaviors)正确的方向+恰当的行为=>成功。Right directions + Proper behaviors=>Success.

习惯二: 以终为始Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind3) 确认个人使命宣言。Develop a personal mission statement.个人使命宣言: 行为处事的根本依据原则。Personal mission statement: Personal Constitution which is changeless.如 such as: 诚恳但立场坚定 Be sincere yet decisive. 态度积极,保持幽默 Maintain a positive attitude and keep a sense ofhumor.每年掌握一种新技能 Develop one new proficiency a year.

习惯二: 以终为始Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind4) 找到正确的生活重心,直指核心。Locate the right living center and point to it.你的生活重心是什么? What is the center of your life? 配偶/家庭/金钱/工作/名利/享乐/敌人或朋 友/宗教/自我Spouse/Family/Money/Work/Possession/Pleasure/ Family & Friend/Religion/Self 正确的生活重心:以原则为重心。Right center of life: Principles.

习惯二: 以终为始Begin with the end in mind 以原则为重心的特征 (As a principle-centered person):第一: 这是主动而非被动的决定。First: You make your decisions proactively leaving upon what other people do and what circumstances are.第二:这是经过通盘考虑而作的决定,不是一时冲动。Second: You know your decisions are most effective because it is based on principles with predictable long-term results.第三:根据原则所做的决定, 能够提高自我的价值。Third: Decisions made would contribute to your ultimate values in life.

习惯二: 以终为始Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind5)确定角色和目标Identify roles and goals 扮演着各种角色的我们,担负着不同的责任We have different responsibilities as we play different roles. 使命宣言:根据不同的角色,制定不同的目标Mission statement: define different goals according to different roles. 通过参与,达到认同No involvement, No commitment

习惯二: 以终为始

Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind

请确立自己的重要的人生角色,并总结你对目前所扮演的角色是否满意?

Take a few moments and write down your roles as you now see them. Ayou satisfied with that mirror image of your life?

设想近期内会面临的某种状况,并写下你希望获得的结果与应该采取的步骤.

Identify a project you will be facing in the near future and apply the principleof mental creation. Write down the results you desire and what steps willlead to those results.

习惯三: 要事第一

Habit 3: Put first things first

习惯三: 要事第一Habit 3: Put first things first

Effective management is

putting first things first.

While leadership decides

what “first things" are, it is

management that puts

them first, day-by-day,

moment-by-moment.

Management is discipline,

carrying it out.

要事第一: Put first things first

通过独立意志的发挥,建立以原则为重心的处事态度,进而达到有效的自我管理.

Establish principle centered attitude through the power of independent will, so that effective self-management could be achieved.

习惯三: 要事第一

Habit 3: First things first

1 独立意志: 有效管理的先决条件

Independent will: Essential and prerequisite conditions for effective Management.

•自制力是独立意志的重要表现

Self-control, important exhibition on independent will是否言出必行Always deliver when committed?

是否言行一致Always act as promised?

习惯三: 要事第一

Habit 3: Put first things first

2 时间管理: 别让琐物牵着鼻子走Time management: Get time for right things

紧急状况

迫切的问题做规划、计划

限期完成的工作人际关系的建立

计划好的会议准备工作

预防措施

提升自己的能力

抓住新机会

必要的领导的

虚假的浪费的

干扰、电话

信件、报告忙碌琐碎的事

会议广告函件

迫在眉睫的事电话

符合别人期望的事逃避性活动

闲聊天

习惯三: 要事第一

Habit 3: Put first things first

重要全力以赴Input fully

20%计划并有条不紊地进行做到未雨先缪Plan and progress gradually, prevent before problems happen65%

紧急

花一点时间做，请人

代办，集中处理

Spend little time

Get support from others

Do in onetime有空再做或不做Do when time is availableOr do not do

15%

习惯三: 要事第一

Habit 3: Put first things first

3 有效的个人管理方法须符合以下标准

Standards to meet to achieve effective self management理想&使命, 角色&目标,重点&计划,欲望&自制和谐一致Coherence: vision & mission, roles & goals, priorities & plans ,desires & discipline are in harmony, unity & integrity

有助于生活工作发展平衡

Balance: Should be helpful to keep balance for life and career development鼓励并协助你去注重虽不紧急却极重要的事

Focus: Should encourage you to focus on things that are important but not urgent.讲原则但重视人际关系的得失(偶尔需要牺牲效率)People dimension: Principle based but emphasize human relations

(Sometimes needs to sacrifice efficiency)

管理方法因人而异

Flexible: Methods for personal management should be tailed to your style.管理工具方便随时查询参考

Portability: Management tools should be portable for ease of checking

习惯三: 要事第一

Habit 3: Put first things first

4 个人管理四步骤

Four key activities for personal management•确定角色Identify Roles

•选择目标Select goals

•安排进度Schedule plan

•逐日调整Adapt day by day

习惯三: 要事第一Habit 3: Put first things first1 找出一件一直为你所忽略，但是会对个人或事业产生重大影响的事，并写下来作为近期目标

Identify an activity you know has been neglected in your life, but you know if done well, would have significant impact in your life, either personally or professionally. Write it down and commit to implement it.

2 规划下一周的活动，依据不同的角色设计目标，再把目标转换为行动，列入行事历中。一周后，回顾自己是否成功的把人生目标和价值观融入日常生活，意志是否坚定？Organize your next week. Start by writing down your roles and goals for the week, then transfer the goals to a specific action plan. At the end of week, evaluate how well your plan translated your deep values and purposes into your daily life and the degree of integrity you were able to maintain to those values and purposes.

习惯四：双赢思维

Habit 4: Think Win/Win

Win/Win sees life as a

cooperative, not a

competitive arena. Most

people tend to think in terms

dichotomies; strong or weak,

hardball or softball, win or

lose. But the world is so

great, the gain of others

shall not be considered as

loss of our own.

习惯四：双赢思维

Habit 4: Think Win/Win

习惯四：双赢思维

Habit 4: Think Win/Win

1 存入6种感情存款Six major deposits in your emotional bank account

1）理解别人Understand the individual

2）注意小节Attending to the little things

3）信守承诺Keeping Commitments

4）阐明期望Clarifying Expectations

5）诚恳正直Showing Personal Integrity

6）勇于道歉Apologizing sincerely when you make a withdrawal

习惯四：双赢思维Habit 4: Think Win/Win2人际关系的六种模式Six paradigms of human interaction

1) 利人利己（赢/赢）-生活是一个合作的舞台而非角斗场Win/Win-Life is a cooperative, not a competitive arena

2) 损人利己（赢/输）-利用自身资源压迫别人，达到目的Win/Lose-Prone to use position, power, possessions to get their way

3）损己利人（输/赢）-委曲求全，借别人的接纳来肯定自己.Lose/Win-No standards, no vision. Seek strength from popularity oracceptance

4）两败俱伤（输/输）-互不相让，为报复，不惜牺牲自己的利益Lose/Lose-Both become vindictive and forget revenge is a two edged sword

5）独善其身（赢）-重要的是得到自己想要的东西Win-What matters us that they get what they want

6）好聚好散（无交易）-双方无都可接受的方案No Deal-We agree to disagree agreeably

习惯四：双赢思维Habit 4: Think Win/Win3 利人利己五要领

Five dimensions of Win/Win

习惯四：双赢思维Habit 4: Think Win/Win3 利人利己五要领Five dimensions of Win/Win

1）双赢品格：真诚正直/勇气和体谅之心/富足心态

Win/Win Character: Integrity/ courage and consideration /Abundance Mentality

2）双赢人际关系：厚实的感情账户，彼此互信互赖Win/Win Relationships: Rich emotional bank account, trust each other

3）双赢协议：对于彼此都能接受的结果，先有共识。

Win/Win Agreement: Agreed on desired results in the beginning (what and when)

4）双赢制度：合理的制度配合双赢关系

Win/Win System: Align the system with Win/Win relationships

5）双赢流程：对事不对人。

Win/Win Processes: Principled approach versus positioned approach.寻求彼此互利的解决途径，但不违背双方认同的一些原则或标准Seek mutual beneficial solutions without sacrificing each others principles and standards.

习惯四：双赢思维

间保持平衡Habit 4:Think Win/Win预想可能参与的谈判或协商，立下决心在勇气与关怀之

Think about an upcoming interaction wherein you will be attempting toreach an agreement or negotiate a solution. Commit to maintain a balancebetween courage and consideration.

选择一项有意改善的人际关系，设身处地的为对方着想，写下你认为对方能接受的方法，再写下自己认可的办法。然后请教对方是否愿意沟通，共同研讨两全其美的对策。Select a specific relationship where you would like to develop a Win/Winagreement. Try to put yourself in the other person’s place, and write downexplicitly how you think that person sees the solution. Then list, from yourperspective, what results would constitute a win for you. Approach the otherperson and ask if she or he would be willing to communicate until you reacha point of agreement and mutually beneficial solution.

习惯五：知彼解己

Habit 5:Seek first to understand, then to be understood知彼解己，同理心交流

Understand and to be understood, empathic listening

首先寻求去了解对方，然后再争取让对方了解

自己。First seek to understand, then to be understood.

习惯五：知彼解己

Habit 5:Seek first to understand, then to be understood一位荒唐的眼科医生为病人配眼镜

他把自己的眼镜摘下来，对病人说: “这眼镜我已经

戴了十年了，效果很好，给你吧，反正我家里还有

一副。”

病人试戴后，将眼镜摘下，对医生说：“这眼镜带着

很不舒服，看东西很模糊。戴一会还会觉得头痛。”

可是医生说：“我戴得很好，你再试试，别心慌。”

“可是我看到的东西都扭曲了。”

“只要有信心，你一定能看到的!”

病人一再抗议，谁知医生竟然恼羞成怒。

“算我好心没有好报”.

习惯五：知彼解己

Habit 5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood